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  • Writer's pictureJess D

Jiu-Jitsu Romance: Pros and Cons of Dating a Woman Who Practices BJJ

Updated: Apr 5

If you ever thought about dating in BJJ and was unsure about dating that girl who does jiu-jitsu, here are the pros and cons of dating a woman who does Brazilian jiu-jitsu


two BJJ women performing leglocks from jiu-jitsu in gi

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu was once a place where all the bros went to hang out, roll and talk. But now a days, BJJ is for everyone including the massive influx of women coming into the sport. For me as a woman who started jiu-jitsu in the days where I was the only woman or maybe one of two women at my gym, the growth of jiu-jitsu amongst women is very exciting for me. 

 

In my dating life, I have held back the fact that I train jiu-jitsu from my dates but once I let the cat out of the bag about my passion for jiu-jitsu, some of the men I’ve dated are completely excited about my hobby, but others have been a bit hesitant about my love for jiu-jitsu.  I don’t know if it’s jealousy or actual intimidation but those are men, I probably wouldn’t want to date in the first place.

 

If you are unfamiliar with the jiu-jitsu lifestyle and happen to start dating a girl who is into jiu-jitsu, here are some of the pros and cons about dating a woman who practices BJJ.



The Pros and Cons of Dating BJJ Women

 

Pros of dating a Woman Who Does BJJ:

 1.  She’s Interested in a Fitness Lifestyle

2. She Can Protect Herself

3. She has a Sense of Community

4.   She’s Chill


Cons of dating a Woman who Practices BJJ:

1.  She May be Too Dedicated to Jiu-jitsu

2.  She Might Have Injuries and Pain

3.  She Might be Competitive and Use You for Practice

4.  You Might Not Understand Where She’s Coming From in the Sport of BJJ



 Pros of dating a Woman Who Does BJJ:

1.  She’s Interested in a Fitness Lifestyle

Women performing yoga, warrior pose, yoga clothing yoga mats, yoga towel

Fitness in relationships is something that highly advocate. To me, a couple that works out together stays together (for the most part). If you’re into fitness, then you’ll be with someone who’s focused on their health and wellness in a sport that encompasses multiple parts of health (cardiovascular, flexibility, strength, and mental health).  A woman that is into jiu-jitsu is going to be physically fit, likes being active, and will be mentally together for the most part.  She’s going to want to do activities that will supplement her jiu-jitsu like weightlifting and running.  This is especially true if she competes.

 

If you happen to also get into jiu-jitsu, then you’ll be with someone that has the same interest as you. You’ll both understand the jiu-jitsu lifestyle and then you can be that BJJ couple who gets better every day because they train both on and off the mats.

 

 

 

2. She Can Protect Herself


self defense, woman defending herself against a man, self-defense practice

I know that some people can feel overprotective of their significant others. We want them to be secure and always protected. When they go out with their friends at night or are doing something that makes them vulnerable, we have the tendency to feel nervous or anxious about them. Well, rest easy because if your girl trains jiu-jitsu, she can protect herself and use self-defense techniques that work in dangerous situations. Not like those one-off self-defense videos you see here and there.

 

 

3.  She has a Sense of Community

There’s one thing I know about most jiu-jitsu gyms is that they are welcoming and supportive. Everyone at the jiu-jitsu gym wants you to be your best and will push you to be a better person and jiu-jitsu athlete. This sense of community and support will trickle down into your relationship and she’ll want to support you in the things you like to do and push you to be your best. 

 

Also, if jiu-jitsu is important to her, she’s going to bring you around her jiu-jitsu friends and make sure that you feel welcomed and loved by the people who welcome and love her.

 

4.   She’s Chill

black girl with natural afro hair, relaxing, eyes clothes, listening to music with apple AirPods

If you’ve talk to many jiu-jitsu practitioners, you’ll see that they are stress free, chill, and just going with the flow. That is because despite all the “stress” you have while rolling (sparring) in BJJ, jiu-jitsu can be a stress reliever. People who do jiu-jitsu are also problem solvers because of how jiu-jitsu is a sport of constant problems presenting themselves and having to create your own solutions. This effect is most likely going to pass off on the BJJ woman you are dating. She’s going to be chill, not making a big deal out of things, and generally mellow.  Your BJJ girl will take time to talk out problems and not automatically yell at you if things don’t go her way.

 

This isn’t to say that you not pulling your weight in your relationship, or you slacking off in some aspects is not going to piss her off but she won’t be constantly jumping down your throat.

 

 

Now that we’ve put out the pros of dating a woman who does jiu jitsu, let’s talk about some of the cons.

 

Cons of dating a Woman who Practices BJJ:

 

1.  She May be Too Dedicated to Jiu-jitsu

Training jiu-jitsu, especially if you’re competing or SUPER into it can take a lot of your time.  So, there might be times when you want to spend time with your BJJ girl, and she says “Sorry. Can’t. I gotta train.”  It might feel at times that she’s putting jiu-jitsu before you, which might be true but just note that she still cares.

 

I remember even for myself, while I was living in Shanghai and dating, I would often put off dates or go late to dates because I wanted to train more. I’m starting to find the balance between BJJ and my love life now but jiu-jitsu is still very important to me so at times I might put training over dating.  

 

 

2.  She Might Have Injuries and Pain

person taking care of other person with hand injury, carpal tunnel

Although in good gyms, the risk of injury is minimal because great jiu-jitsu practitioners take care of their partners. But we cannot ignore the fact that jiu-jitsu is a martial art where people might get hurt.  If you fear your partner getting a major injury from practicing Brazilian jiu-jitsu, then you’ll constantly be in fear.  

 

Besides physical injuries, your significant other might constantly be sore and will most likely ask you to massage her. If you’re not cool with that, then don’t date a woman who does jiu-jitsu.

 

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3.  She Might be Competitive and Use You for Practice

If your partner is obsessed with jiu-jitsu, she might want to continue the fun outside of the gym and bring it to your bedroom… By which I mean she’s going to want to practice with and on you all the time.  She’s going to want to show off what she’s learning and if you’re bigger than her, she’s going to always try and mess with you to make sure jiu-jitsu works in real life.

 

This might be annoying. But you’re the one who got into the relationship with her, so you have to go with what you’re given.

 

4.  You Might Not Understand Where She’s Coming From in the Sport of BJJ


two talking heads picture one talking clearly the other not understanding

Jiu-jitsu has a lot of moving parts when it comes to doing the sport. But there are a lot of things that happen in jiu-jitsu which is about the culture around the sport. If your partner is entrenched with jiu-jitsu, she might talk a lot about it and mention things that might seem unimportant to you but is very important to her. If you don’t approach it the right way you might offender her.

 

 

Dating Women who Do Jiu-Jitsu Comes with A lot of Pros and Cons

 

 

Like with dating anyone else, dating a woman who does jiu-jitsu comes with pros and cons.  Even with the cons, if you take the time to understand your partner and her passion for the sport of Brazilian jiu-jitsu then you will overcome a lot of the challenges that comes with dating a girl who does BJJ. 

 

Question: What pros and cons do you have about dating a woman who does BJJ? Tell me in the comments or on my Instagram @blackgirlwhitegi_bjj

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